Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
“Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating”
-Jim Carrey
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
It’s a weird thing, to think of Jim Carrey acting seriously. I mean, he’s… a great actor and all, but I think everybody is used to watching him be funny. When I first watched The Number 23 (back when it came out), I thought it would be hard getting over his character, but it just so happens that he’s also a great drama actor, the whole suspense thing fits him well. It’s the same with Eternal Sunshine (which isn’t suspense, but now that I think about it The Number 23 probably wasn’t either).
Needless to say, it’s a weird movie. Like cinema d’ arte weird (does that term even exist?). But I like the concept, I don’t remember what exactly, but something about it reminded me about (500) Days of Summer (one of my favorite movies from last year). It’s original. I liked the concept, and the thought that a company like the one that performs those brainwash stuff might exist already or will exist someday scares the shit out of me.
Now, on the quote: Another thing that scares me shitless is having an average life. Because every “average” adult I see is miserable, and they don’t even know it. The thought of having a 9 to 5 job that I absolutely hate, a wife I don’t even know, kids that don’t like me and might not even be mine (you know it happens), and, like Tim Ferriss puts it, being the “fat bald guy in the red BMW”, is probably the worst nightmare I could ever imagine. You might be wondering why this is related to the quote, and I thought about it because everyday, everywhere you see all this couples that aren’t communicating. They might be talking, but they aren’t even interested in what the other person is saying. Hell, they aren’t even interested in what they have to say. It’s sad, it’s very sad. And very repulsive. Like the philosopher Turner says, “There ain’t no romance around there”.
It’s all in the fear of loneliness, man. I have a theory: Most people that reach their 30’s alone do whatever they can do to get married as quickly as possible, and they end up marrying someone that they have nothing in common with. They feel like they’re running out of time, like if they aren’t married with children by the time they’re 35 then they’re gonna die alone. Maybe it’s true, but who cares? I’d rather be lonely than with bad company. Even better, I’d rather be happily married at 45 than divorced twice at 40 and lonely. I’ve heard this many, many times, but I’m gonna repeat it because I think it’s relevant for a better understanding of this great, great quote. Some people are in love with the idea of being in love. You know, the kind of love that they see in movies and hear about in pop radio songs and shit like that. They want that to be a part of their lives so bad that they end up convincing themselves that they already have it when the first opportunity comes up. It’s like they’re blind.
Just because you’re talking, doesn’t mean you’re communicating. It sounds simple. Just because you’re hearing sounds, doesn’t mean you are listening. If one of the sides isn’t interested in what they are hearing or saying, then you aren’t communicating. It happens to me a lot. For some reason I usually don’t care about what other people has to say to me. Unless they’re important to me, and even then sometimes I just shut my brain off when I’m listening to a long story I have no interest in hearing. I know that probably makes me a bad person, even more so because the other person believes that I care. Maybe I should just tell them. “I don’t give a damn fuck about what you did this weekend”. It could be kind of a brutal honesty thing. But then I would lose a lot of friends. Well, “friends”.
No, I think I’m gonna keep awkwardly laughing every 30 seconds to make the impression that I’m listening. I wish I could just tell everybody off. Maybe one day I will start doing it. I hate hypocrisy.
By the way, is it just me or does Mark Ruffalo look a lot like Ryan Adams in this movie?
